Best. Grammys. Ever?

Ok, that may be a bit of an overstatement, but I can’t remember a Grammys show in recent memory that held me at such attention. Some random thoughts from the night:

A live mash-up opened the show. Not much of note here, except that Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas dressed uncharacteristically conservatively, while Gwen Stefani did not. And I still can’t get over a riff from “Fiddler on the Roof” going top 40.

I can’t believe Prince beat Usher for a Grammy. Thank goodness the Grammys voted for substance over style, because Prince’s “Musicology” had plenty of substance. Too bad His Purpleness couldn’t make it. Heck, he probably thought he had no shot of winning.

Green Day is peaking. I’m going to have to break down and buy “American Idiot.” They brought the house down.

What the heck was up with Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony? I was watching the Grammys, and a Telemundo soap opera broke out!

Ok, so maybe Usher has substance after all. Wow, what a performance! Be careful, Ush. James Brown just named you the Godson of Soul. That is one heavy gig.

“Across the Universe.” Nice collaboration, boring song. Sorry, it had to be said.

You go, Melissa Etheridge.

U2 is great, but their performance of “sometimes You Can’t Make It On You Own” seemed a tad distant.

I still can’t tell whether I like Kanye West or I can’t stand him.

Lance Armstrong is one lucky guy. He beats cancer. He wins cycling championships. And every night, he gets to do the Tour de Sheryl.

I actually like Maroon 5, so I was a bit concerned when they won Best New Artist. We’ll see if they can dodge the jinx.

Loretta Lynn and Jack White. Two musical geniuses being themselves. Best acceptance speech of the night.

Uh oh. Now, we have to hear “Daughters” another 10,000 times.

Ray Charles deserved one more night, and he got it.

Yes, we get it, Mr. Academy President. Music piracy, is bad, m’kay? Shut up!

Many critics saw a boring show, but I get the feeling the music world is getting more and more closely knit. I saw a lot of professional respect last night with very little pretense. That can’t be bad, can it?

Your moment of pragmatism

A friend of mine recently was restating his disdain for "teases." I came up with a bit of doggerel for him that summed up my feelings on the subject:

For those who contend that a tease doesn't please,
This rebuttal comes straight outta my mouth.
A sip of fine wine ain't a glassful, it's true,
But it sure beats the hell outta dry mouth.

G'night, Johnny

I'm sure the blogosphere is littered with rememberances of Johnny Carson today -- and deservedly so. The link above is to a Michael Ventre piece that really resonated with me.

Carson was an emissary of television as a benevolent institution. His retirement in 1992 marked the end of that era of television and the birth of television as The Monster that Ate the Civilized World.

I'm a little sad today.

Erik sees red again; Chris Rock gets the smackdown

MSNBC's Erik Lundegaard is at it again. You'll remember he's the one who exposed Santa Claus and his Christmas kin as secret Republican operatives.

Now, Lundegaard has turned his wrathful eye to Chris Rock. Apparently, once you sign on to host the Oscars, you are no longer allowed to express an opinion or crack a joke. Lundegaard takes exception to Rock's cheerleading for Jamie Foxx and goes on to pretty much accuse Rock of being illiterate when it comes to movie history.

We already knew Lundegaard was now on Santa's "Naughty" list for next year. My guess is he's just assured himself of being removed from Rock's Christmas card list as well.

In other news...

I've added a Links section to my sidebar. Given that I know just enough about HTML code to get myself in trouble, it sticks out a bit more than I'd like. However, it is functional, and will grow as I amass more must-click sites for your viewing pleasure.

The potato-ization of Dr. Zoom

With the exception of sports, news and occasional reruns of Star Trek or The X-Files (yes, I am a geek – but a charismatic one), I was never much of a TV buff.

However, in the last two years, I have become a devotee of four (count ‘em – FOUR) shows. And by devotee, I mean that social events will be rescheduled if necessary to permit my watching them. In one case, my obsession has gotten so bad that I record the show as I’m watching it. These shows are:

• The Amazing Race;
• Survivor;
• Lost (and yes, I’ll be recording and watching tonight’s episode); and
• 24.

Fittingly, these shows represent the two ends of the current TV spectrum: reality and totally out-there, thrill ride fiction. A few thoughts here:

If you want to really impress your friends, ask them this question: “What event single-handedly created the reality show boom?” Answer: The 2001 screenwriter’s strike, which sent network honchos scurrying after innovative ways to keep their schedules afloat. Most of the resulting reality shows are so much dreck, but Survivor and The Amazing Race rise above the pack for opposite reasons. Survivor puts us inside scheming players’ heads; The Amazing Race and its task-focused approach doesn’t bog the viewer down with group psychology but instead presents a thrill-packed and educational travelogue. And I am hopelessly hooked on both.

Meanwhile, Lost does an engrossing job of storytelling and character development. It’s sort of like Twin Peaks without backward-talking midgets and hopelessly convoluted storylines.

And then there’s 24. I managed to stay away from this show for three years. When Mrs. Zoom suggested we give this season’s premiere a try, I was highly resistant. Three shows were enough, I told her. And yet, we watched. Oh my.

If there has ever been a TV series this exciting and engrossing on a minute-to-minute basis, I want to know. Don’t tell me West Wing: I’m sure it’s good, but it also seems talky. X-Files would, on occasion, leave me breathless, but not every … single … second.

So there it is. I’ve come clean. I'm a multiple-offense junkie. CBS, FOX and ABC: you may pay me accordingly. NBC: you’re fired.

160,000

I've been trying to wrap my brain around the devastation of the tsunami, which as of this morning has left approximately 160,000 dead. In the hours immediately following the event, it was too easy for me to file it away as "other news" because it had occurred a world away.

Now, it's just overwhelming. And for anyone still unable to grasp the enormity of the tragedy, just imagine every single person in this town dying.

‘The perfect gift?’ It’s a stretch

What do you get for the woman who has everything? And what if that woman is your mother?

That was the challenge facing Mrs. Zoom and I this holiday season. We started out by asking ourselves what Mom needed. The answer was: not too bloody much. Mom is not wealthy, but neither is she currently suffering. We’ve spent the last few years adding to various collections she has built up, but really — how many teddy bears, stuffed dogs and heart-shaped charms does one really need? And then, my wife the genius came up with a great plan.

We would surprise Mom, it was decided, with dinner at Capisce, a swanky Italian restaurant at the top of our 30-story Hilton. We would follow that up with a limousine ride through downtown Springfield, as Mom has never ridden in a limo before.

The plan went off without a hitch. We had a lovely dinner (supplemented with two bottles of Chardonnay) and a magnificent ride (complemented with two bottles of champagne). By the time we tipped the driver and sent the white 2003 stretch to Mom’s house, Mom was lit. I was happy to contribute, as Mom has been intoxicated perhaps three times in the last 12 years.

Of course, this led to one of the funnier verbal missteps of the evening.

When Mom got home, she called us and thanked us profusely. I let her know it was principally Becky’s idea, which led Mom to declare, “Now I know you REALLY love me!”

What makes this funny rather than tragic is that Mrs. Zoom and my mom actually have a pretty decent in-law relationship. At any rate, it’s much better than the traditional wife/meddling mother-in law archetype. I’m sure my mom KNEW my wife loved her. It was the Chardonnay-and-champagne cocktail talking.

Still, when Mom made her proclamation, my wife couldn’t resist the temptation to roll her eyes a bit, while I mimed a Homer Simpson head slap.

Speakerphone is a wonderful thing.

Happy holidays.

E-mails of the dead

Dead Marine's kin plead for e-mail

Wow. I really don't know how to feel about this one. I know Yahoo is going to take a PR hit for this, but they really have a point. And what if there's something in his e-mails the Marine in question would never have wanted his family to know? Tough times lead to tough calls.

His suit's red for a reason

MSNBC contributor Erik Lundegaard offers up this shocking revelation: Santa Claus is a Republican and conservatives are using Hollywood to cram a message of faith down our throats during the holidays. How dare they?

If you're down-and-out, look down .. and out

I had to come to work early this morning. I was consulting on a video shoot for which I had penned the script. The video was to be delivered by two of our marketing honchos from the 6th-floor office of our Chief Marketing Officer.

The darkness of early morning combined with a bitter winter wind did nothing to lift my spirits as I made the five-block roll to work. Neither did the fairly extensive rewrite we had to make once I arrived. But as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, I happened to glance out the CMO’s picture window. The darkness was giving away to a pre-dawn gloaming, and the cityscape, dotted with twinkling lights, was shifting from nothingness to silhouette to full view. I was awestruck.

It’s not that Springfield, Ill., has breathtaking scenery (although when she’s dressed up for Christmas, the old girl has the charm of an elderly woman dressed in her finest Sunday go-to-meetin’ clothes). But I’ve always found that an aerial view of the city gives me an immediate sense of peace. I’ve pondered why, and the only thing I can come up is that a bird’s-eye view reminds me that, no matter the chaos in my life, the world keeps on moving along. Traffic rolls on, day turns to night turns to day, and thousands of ant-sized people keep on making a living.

So if you’re overwhelmed, might I suggest elevating your perspective. If you’re afraid of heights, I suppose you’re screwed. But what better time to get over it?

Red or blue -- it's all about the green

This really ticks me off.

Don’t get me wrong; I don’t check my ethics at the door when I go shopping. If I ate tuna, it would only be dolphin-safe tuna. And I don’t want to support a company that has unsafe or unfair labor practices.

But come on … withholding business from a company because of the political party it supports? That makes about as much sense to me as refusing to enjoy the talents of Green Day or The Dixie Chicks because of their political views. Heck … perhaps I should start asking for proof of party registration before I befriend someone.

Of course, this is America, and you have the right to support your political party through your purchases. That’s the beauty of a free-market economy.

Just don’t complain about the polarization of our country when you’re checking your receipts to see if they’re “red” or “blue.”

About this blog

When I was young, and idealism and wit flowed in and out of my body like oxygen and carbon dioxide, I wrote a column for my college newspaper called Intro to Sykesology. Behind the oh-so-clever title lurked … well … some oh-so-clever articles that, as I look back on it now, were prototype blog entries. I was bright-eyed and ready to take on the heavy issues: why Valentine’s Day sucked, how aliens used squirrels to spread campus gossip … the important stuff. I thought, I wrote, I was published, and it was good.

Fast forward 14 years. I’m staring at my bedroom ceiling wondering exactly how someone who leaves college determined to write The Next Great American Novel ends up writing envelope stuffers extolling the virtues of auto insurance. Have I surrendered my dream? Or will I be satisfied with the horseshoe approach to life fulfillment: I’m writing for a living, and that’s close enough?

And then, I think of the Chinese New Year wish I buried early last year – the first time I ever celebrated a Chinese New Year. “I want to make a living writing about things I enjoy.”

It’s a good wish, and it’s too early for me to give up on it. And, maybe this blog is my way of rediscovering the joy of writing.

At the very least, it’s an excuse to drag that oh-so-clever column name out of the attic. Welcome to Graduate Level Sykesology. Let’s roll.